"it" just moved
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
