the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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