I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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