I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
