We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Randomize
