so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
