just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
