I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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