My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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