look no pants
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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