now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
