Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
