I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
