im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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