seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
