Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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