To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
