was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
