Nicole vs. Life
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
