Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
