Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just had sex bonerless
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
