Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
