Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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