He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My bed smells like the plague
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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