So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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