Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
