Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
