Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
