Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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