I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
