Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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