I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
