She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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