can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
