She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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