So drunk its hurt
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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