i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
