How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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