i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
