ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
