shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A bitchslap is in order.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Your penis caused this!
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