i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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