My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
