i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
