lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
