remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
