Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
