Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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