it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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