How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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