I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
