please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
