clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
