it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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