Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
