Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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