Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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