He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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