scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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