Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
