I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
