does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
